Posted on: 5 December, 2025
This page shares the experiences of women who have survived domestic abuse, as well as insights from the Cranstoun staff who are standing beside them on their journey to recovery. It contains references to physical violence and emotional manipulation which you may find distressing.
“No-one was safe.” These are the words of Holly, whose name we have changed but whose experience is unedited.
Three weeks ago, as many were beginning to prepare for the festive season, Holly was fleeing an abusive marriage and moving hundreds of miles to one of Cranstoun’s refuges. Behind closed doors, abuse thrives, but within the walls of our refuges, it is replaced with safety, kindness and hope.
Transforming a building into a home
Eight women and their families live in our largest refuge. Supported by a passionate team, service manager Kiran has transformed the refuge and changed the lives of its residents. When Cranstoun took over management in November 2024, the building was tatty and tired, with water pressure so low you couldn’t even run a bath. Today, the refuge feels renewed, with fresh paintwork and working facilities, offering residents a soothing, peaceful environment.
Jacqueline, Paisha and Kiran are three of the team supporting women at the refuge.
The communal lounge is safe, comfortable, and very tidy given the refuge can accommodate more than 20 children if needs be. Its youngest ever resident was just one day old. Currently, seven children live here, and everywhere you look are clear signs of childhoods being reclaimed: Christmas colouring books, scraps of red craft paper, and a wall bursting with colourful paintings of hearts, rainbows and houses – images of love, safety and belonging.
Crucially, Kiran and the team have also increased access to holistic, person-centred support. The survivors can access a clinical therapist, receive face-to-face or online counselling, and have regular check-ups from a local GP. Their children attend therapy sessions in a specially adapted loft space fitted with a soft play area and a ball pit. Together with the amazing women who provide them, these services help to rebuild the lives of survivors who have escaped heartbreaking abuse.
“I was trapped”
Like many young women today, Holly met her future husband on social media. They shared a happy relationship, until they moved in together, when her husband unleashed a violent temper. “He’d get angry and strangle me, and tell me I was a [expletive] wife,” she recalled. “If he wasn’t hitting me, he would hit his brother – or his dog.”
Holly tried to escape, contacting her local council for support. They placed her in temporary accommodation, but sharing the unfamiliar space with men battling their own challenges and dependencies left Holly feeling desperately unsafe. If she wanted a roof over her head, Holly’s only alternative was to return to her abuser. “I was trapped,” she said, “and I knew I could die at any point.”
Thankfully, Holly contacted a domestic abuse helpline, who helped her escape to Cranstoun’s refuge. The building offered safety but bought back difficult memories of a time she had lived in a refuge as a child, after her mum fled an abusive relationship.
While it is early in Holly’s recovery and a very emotional time, there are glimmers of optimism in her expression and hope in her voice. “This is a really nice refuge, and the staff are always here to talk to,” she reflected. “I see my future: I want to have my own safe place that no-one can ever take from me. My mum did it – and I can see the other side too.”
“She gives me power”
Another survivor at the refuge, who we’re calling Yasmin, shared a story of unimaginable betrayal. When she was aged just 17, Yasmin’s family sold her to a wealthy man. He was violent, on one occasion breaking her nose, but her family threatened to disown her if she divorced him.
After enduring decades of violence and threats to kill her, she defiantly called the police – cutting ties with her husband and her family – before seeking a new beginning at the refuge.
Today, Yasmin radiates warmth and confidence through her soft smile. When I met her, she tried to attribute her growth to her support worker, Paisha, saying, “she gives me power”. Paisha smiled back but gently disagreed, replying, “The power is inside of you. I just help you bring it out.”
“Kindness and flexibility”
Just a few miles away, another Cranstoun refuge offers safety and sanctuary to six women and three children. For many, this is the first place they’ve felt truly secure in years. “It’s warm and welcoming,” says refuge manager Sania. “We have a lot of kindness and flexibility.”
Sania was inspired by her mother and grandmother, who empowered women to achieve financial independence in rural Pakistan. “Women were not taken seriously,” she said, “but the women worked in the fields, so a lot of the economics depended on them.”
Alongside forging a career as a psychologist and therapist, Sania volunteered with survivors of domestic abuse. The women recognised Sania’s energy and drive, so they encouraged her to expand her reach. Soon, Sania was running a support group, a language café, and even a community sewing project.
Her journey brought her to Cranstoun, where she is proud to lead programmes that help women in the UK while also receiving international recognition. “When I go back home to Pakistan,” Sania says, “it brings me a lot of satisfaction to run workshops and give back to the community.”
This refuge receives six or seven referrals for every available space and can only accommodate women at the highest risk of abuse. For survivors who do move into the refuge, their transformation is profound. “They arrive broken,” Sania says, “and slowly, they begin to walk with their heads held high.”
Since 2022, a woman has been killed at home in the UK every four days. Kiran, Jacqueline, Paisha, Sania, and all the amazing women working at our refuges aren’t just changing lives – they’re saving them, too.
How you can help survivors this Christmas
The women in our refuges are rebuilding their lives with extraordinary courage. It is humbling to hear how, even after enduring unimaginable abuse, they are selfless and want to help one another. One resident said a Christmas gift would help her to help others: “It shows there are still good people in the world. And if you can help someone else, they’ll pay it forward.” This Christmas, you can be one of those good people.
Kiran dreams of offering yoga classes and kick-boxing lessons to build survivors’ resilience, confidence and strength. Sania hopes to transform her refuge’s garden with a play area for children forced to flee with their mothers. Our funding keeps these refuges safe and warm, but it can only go so far. Will you help us provide survivors with the freedom they deserve? Your donation could pay for:
Your kindness can spread joy where once there was only fear. Every gift sends a powerful message to survivors like Holly and Yasmin: you are not alone, and we stand beside you.