This page shares the real experience of a domestic abuse survivor. Her name and identifying details have been changed for her safety, but her story is told in her own words. It includes references to physical, emotional and sexual violence, which some readers may find upsetting.
A qualified doctor and mother of two daughters, Grace devoted her life to helping others and nurturing her children. But for years, she endured a marriage defined by fear and control to keep her family together.
“I was in a bad marriage,” Grace told us, “but I was always told a child must have both their parents involved.” Leaving her husband felt impossible, so she stayed.
She stayed while a camera watched her every move. She stayed through assaults that bloodied her face, damaged her sight and hearing, and left a gaping leg wound and a permanent scar. And she stayed as he drained her finances, leaving her penniless. “I worked hard all my life,” Grace reflected, “but he made sure I had nothing.”
The abuse wasn’t only physical. Grace endured years of sexual violence, hoping to shield her children. “I’ll stay with my kids if that would mean protecting them for life,” she told us. “I wedged their door closed with a chest while they slept. I didn’t sleep. I was just afraid.”
But then the horror deepened when Grace’s pre-teen daughter became a target. Her daughter experienced disordered eating as she fought to cope with the leering looks at her developing body. “I saw the way he was looking at her,” Grace recalled, “and now I know the signs. He doesn’t have emotions. He threatened the girls – what if he just decided to stab them and says it’s nothing lost?”
Grace knew she had to escape to protect herself and her children. One day, with her husband at work, she packed whatever she could carry and fled to her daughter’s school. Teachers had seen the signs of abuse and now, finally in a safe environment, Grace could share for the first time what was happening behind closed doors. With social services involved, the trio moved from hotel to hotel, before an independent domestic violence adviser (IDVA) helped her family to finally settle into a refuge managed by Cranstoun.
The refuge is a lifeline for six women, including Grace, and their children. Here, they find safety and community, living among people who understand their experiences. With support from the Cranstoun team, the refuge’s residents access support with mental health, housing, and finding the pathway to recovery and independence.
Grace calls the refuge her training ground. She says, “it’s a place where I can get myself together to face the world again”.
Outside, the refuge has a private and secure garden, but this neglected space could be so much more. Right now, it’s bare: a shabby patch of weed-strewn grass, a cracked slab of concrete with a border of stinging nettles, and a single picnic table for everyone who calls the refuge home. For children who’ve lost so much, and parents coping with trauma, the transformation of this space could be life-changing. With your help, we can turn this into a vibrant outdoor space where families can heal together.
Imagine a welcoming garden where children can laugh and play, and where mums like Grace can sit in peace, surrounded by greenery and colour, and begin to heal. Our funding keeps the refuge safe, secure and warm, but we can only do so much with finite resources. Your gift can transform an empty patch of ground into a sanctuary – a place of recovery and hope.
Grace dreams of toys, games and fun for the children at the refuge. A table tennis table. A basketball hoop. Young residents can’t invite friends to visit after school, so Grace longs to see the kids at the refuge playing together: getting active, having fun, and experiencing their childhoods. Her children have lived in a household of violence, abuse and fear. Together, we can help them feel like kids again.
Grace reflects, “When you hear someone has gifted you something, it’s that little light in the darkness that tells you there’s still hope in the world. If anybody can help, please know a soul will be sleeping. Hope is all we are looking for.”
Last year, 2.3 million people experienced domestic abuse in the UK. When families finally reach safety, they deserve more than four walls: they need a space to heal. Today, you can help make that possible.
